Today is the day! I will be moving to CSUN, Northridge. It has been a whirlwind organizing, packing, cleaning, storing, deciding, and all the other details that are involved. I am very excited to meet new people and be immersed in a different city. Optimism helps when anticipation is running through your mind. I find myself reflecting on each major decision and school change I've ever made ready to compare it to my future. I will say each milestone has always steadily been bigger and better than the one before. My mind interestingly enough is reminiscing on memories long, long ago.
This really has been a huge decision for my that I have spent countless nights thinking, praying, and sometimes crying about. It's a beautiful beginning for me to learn and grow independently. However I have always felt such a tremendous responsibility towards my family and it's hard to part. When one moves away they want their world to stay the same back home so that they know the strength, love and support will always be there for them. I hope.
And so it begins...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Patience...and Understanding.
Throughout my life I have always kept journals, but those are secret and personal and on rare occasions do I share entry's with others.
So, I thought I would give this a try...writing is a beautiful expression of the ways of life.
I have hesitated for days to write this blog, because I know it will come across vague and confusing. Please, know..what is dark will soon come to light.
I turned the thought of writing my "thoughts" for people to read, comment, and gain something from those words for a while now, but I tend to write more fluidly in the quietness of my own secrecy. However, I recently spoke with a friend about starting a blog and she encouraged me to do so. I must caution and say this is bold, vulnerable, and unveiling for me, three things that I am exercising with great faith...
God sure chose a interesting time in my life for me to begin my blogging, this being my first attempt at writing one and I cant describe the magnitude of thoughts I have at this very moment in time. This week has redefined the course of my life. Literally. I have cried, and laughed, prayed, and pondered his plan and preparation for the future. Late last week, I learned some devastating news about someone dear to me. Immediately the tears began, shock set in and I quietly listened to the voice on the other end of the phone. I can honestly say I am one of those people that "prepares for the worse" in case it would some how subdue the devastation, however it usually has little effect. This event, also was unlike that because it came "out of the blue" I could have never imagined it would become a reality on so many levels. My chest gripped me so tightly the first few days, I struggled to speak and deeply asked God to give me the ability to offer any words of encouragement as comforting as they could be.
I learned, I cried, I hoped, I began to see Gods plan....unfolding before my very eyes. I am not a very open person when it comes to the depth of my heart and the trials God has set before me, but this last week he uncovered that fear and let light shine in. God showed me a purpose, one of many I am sure and he laid it down in my hands. I questioned the reality of the situation at first in disbelief if this situation could really be an answer to a prayer I had prayed for the last 7 years, but I know with confidence and certainty he has validated it.
and that is a BLESSING. it brings tears to my eyes..
I hate to say the words, "no one else understands"- but, now..I truly know someone else does.
It gets even better- the following day in regard to a completely separate prayer... the Lord answered another, faithful, and with such grace the Lord provided. Please don't take this lightly. I am trying to describe it as accurately in words as I can. These were prayers that I have cried out for years, for him to answer, I waited patiently, and he transformed my heart.
Unfortunately and fortunately there is much, much more.
I ask for your patients, and understanding that time will reveal what it is that I am talking about... and so much prayer is needed during this time.
Strength- for God to heal the weak
Wisdom- seeking
Love- support and coming together
Be thankful, life is richer and more beautiful when you are a light to others.
Sincerely, Vanessa
So, I thought I would give this a try...writing is a beautiful expression of the ways of life.
I have hesitated for days to write this blog, because I know it will come across vague and confusing. Please, know..what is dark will soon come to light.
I turned the thought of writing my "thoughts" for people to read, comment, and gain something from those words for a while now, but I tend to write more fluidly in the quietness of my own secrecy. However, I recently spoke with a friend about starting a blog and she encouraged me to do so. I must caution and say this is bold, vulnerable, and unveiling for me, three things that I am exercising with great faith...
God sure chose a interesting time in my life for me to begin my blogging, this being my first attempt at writing one and I cant describe the magnitude of thoughts I have at this very moment in time. This week has redefined the course of my life. Literally. I have cried, and laughed, prayed, and pondered his plan and preparation for the future. Late last week, I learned some devastating news about someone dear to me. Immediately the tears began, shock set in and I quietly listened to the voice on the other end of the phone. I can honestly say I am one of those people that "prepares for the worse" in case it would some how subdue the devastation, however it usually has little effect. This event, also was unlike that because it came "out of the blue" I could have never imagined it would become a reality on so many levels. My chest gripped me so tightly the first few days, I struggled to speak and deeply asked God to give me the ability to offer any words of encouragement as comforting as they could be.
I learned, I cried, I hoped, I began to see Gods plan....unfolding before my very eyes. I am not a very open person when it comes to the depth of my heart and the trials God has set before me, but this last week he uncovered that fear and let light shine in. God showed me a purpose, one of many I am sure and he laid it down in my hands. I questioned the reality of the situation at first in disbelief if this situation could really be an answer to a prayer I had prayed for the last 7 years, but I know with confidence and certainty he has validated it.
and that is a BLESSING. it brings tears to my eyes..
I hate to say the words, "no one else understands"- but, now..I truly know someone else does.
It gets even better- the following day in regard to a completely separate prayer... the Lord answered another, faithful, and with such grace the Lord provided. Please don't take this lightly. I am trying to describe it as accurately in words as I can. These were prayers that I have cried out for years, for him to answer, I waited patiently, and he transformed my heart.
Unfortunately and fortunately there is much, much more.
I ask for your patients, and understanding that time will reveal what it is that I am talking about... and so much prayer is needed during this time.
Strength- for God to heal the weak
Wisdom- seeking
Love- support and coming together
Be thankful, life is richer and more beautiful when you are a light to others.
Sincerely, Vanessa
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